I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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