Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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