Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
