Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Someone came in the potted fern
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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