why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
