aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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