Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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