I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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