If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
