Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
