it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
