cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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