ugly people sure do ruin things
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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