brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
