everyone is single if you try hard enough
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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