We got so high we made milksteak
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
