How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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