I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
