I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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