It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize