I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Welp...herpes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
