I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
