yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
