apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
