God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
