About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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