If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
