you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize