Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
