Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
