I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
