I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
