I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
