I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He has the fingertips of a God
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
