Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
