I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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