At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
