is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
