my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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