He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
