Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
