I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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