Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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