I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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