So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
