i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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