i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
