no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
