Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I will pee on everything he values.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
