Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found puke in my bra..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
