Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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