You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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