Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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