It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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