Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize