i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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