Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
