good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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