areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize