I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
