The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
