I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
